The Westfries
Lament
(Wijze - The Wild
Rover)
Well I´ve
played for
And I love
to play rugby but I´d rather drink beer!
I drank
forty pints and I fell to the floor
Now I never
will play for
Chorus
And it´s
no, nay, never
No, nay,
never no more
Will I play
for
No never,
no more!
When I was
a young man I had but one wish
To play for
But now
that I´m older I drink even more
So I never
will play for
Chorus
Now when
the games over we´re battered and sore
And there
isn´t a player could tell you the score
And I´ll
grant you our rugby won´t always impress
For it´s singing and drinking that we love the best!
Chorus
We´re
fifteen Dutch bastards, we´re ugly, we´re mean
We´re the
best bloody rugby club
And we wont be disheartened when stood at death´s door
For in
heaven we´ll play for West Friesland ONCE MORE!
Chorus
(with actions)
Who killed
Cock Robin?
I said the
sparrow, with my bow and arrow,
I killed
Cock Robin.
Chorus
And all the
little birds in the air said ´shag it, damn it, fuck it´
When they
heard Cock Robin had kicked the fucking bucket,
When they
heard Cock Robin had kicked the fucking bucket.
Who saw him
die?
I said the
fly, with my little eye,
I saw him
die.
Chorus
Who´ll dig
the grave?
I said the
owl with my little trowel
I´ll dig
the grave.
Chorus
Who´ll read
the prayer?
I said the
rook, from my little book,
I´ll read
the prayer.
Chorus
Who´ll toll
the bell?
I said the
bull, ´cuase I can pull,
I´ll toll
the bell
And all the
little birds in the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing
When they
heard the bell toll for poor Cock Robin
The Mayor
of Bayswater he had a lovely daughter
And the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
And those
hairs on her dickie dido, those hairs on her dickie dido
Those hairs
on her dickie dido hung down to her knees
One black
one, one white one and one with a bit of shite on
And one
with a fairy light on to show us the way
It took a
Welsh miner to find her vagina
And the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
If she was
my daughter I´d cut them much shorter
And the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
She came
from Glammorgan she had tits like a barrel organ
And the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
She married
an Italian with balls like a fucking stallion
And the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
So coarse
and unsightly, she skinned him twice nightly
With the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
She stood
on the mountain and pissed like a bloody fountain
And the hairs
on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
I´ve seen
it, I´ve tickled it, I cut a piece and I pickled it
And the
hairs on her Dickie dido hung down to her knees
Chorus
Oh, my old man's an All Black,
He wears the silver fern,
His mates just couldn't take him
So he's out now for a turn.
Da ditditda daditditda daditditdadada
Well, Dad's played rugby all his life
And it's very plain to see
He's trying hard to make
An All Black out of me:
"Son don't you worry if you get
Punched when down in a scrum,
Just wait 'til there's a ruck
And you can fix the guilty one!"
Oh, my old man's an All Black,
He wears the silver fern,
His mates just couldn't take him
So he's out now for a turn.
Da ditditda daditditda daditditdadada
So he's out now for a turn.
For I like the wine,
It makes me feel fine.
Chorus:
Get in, get out, da vino
da vino is so supremo
ooh oohoohooho
aaye, ayeyayay
si si Senora
My sister Belinda,
she pissed out the window
right into my whiskey and soda.
The beer - feel queer.
The gin - helps to get in.
The rum - helps to cum
The whiskey - feel friskey.
The tea - makes girls so free.
The milk - makes 'm feel like silk.
The brandy - feel randy.
De cognac - geefl een volle zak.
etc...etc....
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home;
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home.
I looked over Jordan, and
What did I see,
Comin' for to carry me home?
A band of angels comin' after me,
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
If you get there before I do
Comin' for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends I'm comin' too
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home;
Sometimes I'm up,
Sometimes I'm down,
Comin' for to carry me home;
Yet still my soul feels heavn'ly bound,
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
In Dublin's fair city,
where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheel'd her wheel barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow
Chorus:
Crying "Cockles and Mussels alive, alive O!"
Alive, alive O! Alive, alive O
Crying Cockles and Mussels Alive, alive O!
She was a fishmonger,
But sure 'twas no wonder,
For so were her father and mother before,
And they each wheel'd their barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow,
Chorus
She died of a fever
And no one could save her,
And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone;
But her ghost wheels her barrow
Thro' streets broad and narrow
Chorus
[Written and composed by James Yorkston]
O Flower of Scotland
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for
Your wee bit Hill and Glen
And stood against him
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.
The Hills are bare now
And Autumn leaves lie thick and still
O'er land that is lost now
Which those so dearly held
That stood against him
Proud Edward's Army
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.
Those days are past now
And in the past they must remain
But we can still rise now
And be the nation again
That stood against him
Proud Edward's Army
And sent him homeward,
Tae think again.
0 Flower of Scotland
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for
Your wee bit Hill and Glen
And stood against him
Proud Edward's Army,
And sent him homeward
Tae think again.
[written and composed by Roy MB Williamson I936-l990
The Corries (Music) Ltd]
Chorus:
Moose! Moose! I like a moose!
I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
I’ve had many women my like has been loose
But I’ve never had anything quite like a moose!
When I was a young man I used to like girls
I’d fondle their bodies I’d play with their curls
‘Til my wife ran away with a saleman named Bruce
Now you’d never be treated that way by a moose
I’ve done it with all kinds of beasties with
hair
I’d do it with snakes if their fangs were not their
I’ve done it with cats, dogs, gazelles, and a goose
But I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
Gorillas are fine on a Saturday night
Lions and tigers they put up a fight.
But it’s just not the same when you ram their caboose
As the feeling you get when you when you’re shagging a moose.
In Minnesota the girls are quite nice
But in ____________ they treat you like ice
But all through the world moose are the same
They always come softly when called by name.
Al my life I have travelled around
Looking for somplace nice to settle down
Now I’m so glad that I live in Duluth
Becuase the area’s so well populated with Moose
When I am down and feeling all alone
I drink some Jack Daniels and get a little bit stoned
I go down to the creek where the long willows grow
And find me a moose with his balls hanging low
When I'm in the need for a very good lay,
I go to the closet and pull out some hay,
I open the window and spread it around,
Because moose will come running when there’s hay to be found.
Women like pearls and diamonds and cars,
I spend all my money on them in the bars,
But a moose is content to be tied to a tree,
While I find other mooses to satisfy me,
When I was much younger I read dirty books,
I stroked myself with each gazing look,
But nothing can make my eyes start to twinkle,
Like the feeling I get jacking off to Bullwinkle.
Up on the hill, on a very cold night
My girlfriend was frigid, she put up a fight
So I left her right there as she lay on the ground
To go down to the creek where the moose could be found.
In many a bar I have often been led
In many of these you can find a moose head
But damn it to hell I cannot let this pass
On my wall I’d rather have a moose’s ass.
My doctor told me rugby’s bad for my health
I’d thought I’d give it up just to save myself
I’ll give up my beer and my vodka-orange juice
But there’s no way in hell that I’ll give up my moose.
The peoples of old they had their icons.
The greeks and the romans, the amazons.
But get away God, Allah, Buddah and Zeus
I’ll only go down on my knees for a moose.
When I am an old man, advanced in my years
I’ll look back on my life and shed me no tears
I’ll sit in my rocker with a glass of Matoose
Playing hide the salami with Marvin the Moose.
We're climbing up the sunshine mountains,
where we all have fun.
We're climbing up the sunshine mountains,
to face it all around,
Turn your back to all your trouble,
reach out for the sky.
We're climbing up the sunshine mountains,
You and I, we're waiting, You and I .......
Sung to the tune of some hymn. Dunno which one.
Why was he born so beautiful
Why was he born at all
He's no fucking use to anyone
He's no fucking use at all
He should be publicly pissed on,
He should be publicly shot (bang, bang),
He should be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
So, DRINK chug-a-lug
Drink chug-a-lug
Drink chug-a-lug
DRINK!
Soloist volunteer for each verse during the previous by raising their hand, and are chosen by a chairman (or the concensus) pointing at them. Everyone sings words in capital letters.
I know a bear that you
all know,
Yogi, YOGI,
I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
YOGI, YOGI BEAR,
YOGI, YOGI BEAR,
I KNOW A BEAR THAT YOU ALL KNOW,
YOGI, YOGI BEAR.
Yogi's got a little
friend,
Booboo, BOOBOO,
Yogi's got a little friend,
Booboo, Booboo Bear.
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR,
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR,
YOGI'S GOT A LITTLE FRIEND,
BOOBOO, BOOBOO BEAR.
And similarly:
Yogi's got a girlfriend, Suzi,
Suzi, Suzi Bear.
Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger
Ranger, Ranger Smith
Yogi's got a cheesy knob, cammum,
Cammum, Camembert.
Suzi likes it on the fridge, polar,
Polar, polar bear.
Booboo likes it up the arse, brown,
Brown, brown bear.
Suzi hates it up the arse, something,
Something she cant bear.
Yogi's dick is long and green, cucum,
Cucum, cucumber.
Suzi likes to shave her pubes, grizzly,
Grizzly, grizzly bare.
.
.
.
Ad infinitum
